Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Toast on Tuesday - PARENTS

First, I dedicate this to several special folks whose parenting I've had the honor of witnessing up close.  Your names are listed at the conclusion of this post!

Second, I am broaching this subject with trepidation as I don't ever mean to offend.  I admit to be completely clueless about parenthood.  My intention is to use a little bit of humor in order to bestow adulation WITHOUT ANY JUDGEMENT.  So if you woke up on the grumpy side of the bed determined to have a bad day, skip reading this post.

I obviously don't have a family of my own  and there is a small part of me that would like to change my life by embarking on the parenthood path.  However today there are major factors stopping me now and other reasons that have stopped me earlier in my life so only God knows if this will happen for me at this juncture in my life. And I don't feel empty, bitter or unfulfilled in any way. But as usual, I digress.

This is to all of the people out there who have taken on the toughest job on earth, PARENTING.  Through my blogging experience I've met so many fantastic bloggers most of which are mommies and have blog titles with these words CRAZY, NO SLEEP, PANIC, LOSING IT, BURIED, LAZY, MINDLESS and NUT HOUSE.  Some blogs even make inferences to needing and having many, many, many drinks.  This can only mean that often times this self inflicted job ain't easy.  On the flip side there are blogs with these words in the titles BLISS, INSPIRED, HAPPY, DREAM, RESPLENDENT, BLESSED.  This can only mean that this self inflicted job is monumentally rewarding and fulfilling.  Parenting is two sides of the same coin.

How can one be prepared for parenthood?  No one could have possibly warned anyone about how difficult this job was going to be.  Or how much love one could experience. Why anyone would choose to become a parent is daunting to process.  Therefore all I could think to do is raise a glass to you.  Family is wonderful, necessary, fun and children are a blessing.  Be fruitful and multiply.

So pause and appreciate yourself for handling all of these items.  Children, a career or job, a husband, friends, extracurricular interests, acknowledging your faith and being philanthropic.  All of these things individually are hard because they each have to be uniquely maintained; each of these titles requires specific skills and attention to detail.  Imagine having to be a chef in the kitchen, a trickster in the bedroom, a teacher all day or after three o'clock, a nurse, a friend, the breadwinner, a conversational juggernaut in social situations, a community organizer, pious in your place of worship, a banker, a bookkeeper or the financier... Butcher,baker or candlestick maker.  I know several wealthy people who have help [nannies, chefs, personal assistants,etc.] and after having access to close observation they still can't manage to be great at everything on their list of desired achievements.  Most people parent without assistance of any kind. And many have varying degrees of help with their parenting and they find it to be tough. Talk about MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, I'm overwhelmed just writing about all of this.  I honestly have no clue how anyone can do it all.  I never agreed with the phrase [sorry men], WOMEN CAN HAVE IT ALL.  To me this implies that women can have it all AT ONE TIME. Really?  Seriously?  How can this be possible to be very good in all areas that it takes to be a "good parent" all at one time?

People choose parenthood everyday with varying levels of success as a result.  I know a few women who have four or more children.  Now I understand that one is tough enough but five???  One male friend with two children recently said, and I quote, "Parenting isn't for sissies."  A good blog title for someone :-)

So to ALL PARENTS married,single, female, male, employed, unemployed, Stay at home, PTA president, home schooler, adoptive, biological, physically handicapped, completely physically functional, younger, older, rich, poor, and someplace in between.

May your faith be strong with bended knee,
your tears few,
your money plentiful,
your regrets obliterated,
your senses sharp and balanced,
your heart reverent and grateful,
your health at it's summit,
your suppport system authentic,
...and your joy and drinks overflowing!

Mom and Dad, this is your second Tuesday toast, you've done it with TWO. And to some extent are still doing it.
Charles and Chessel W. Doing it with THREE and a grand tribe of [I believe] TEN.  God has and continues to sustain you.
*Kathie W., I couldn't have asked for a better friend. You are a beautiful blessing.
*Charity C., I'm speachless about your drive, you are a force. 
**Both are each doing it with FIVE.
Msanda, I'm always impressed by your tenacity. Doing it with TWO: one in college and one in grade school.
Pamela & Pierre JB, I have no clue where you find the strength to crawl out of bed everyday.  You amaze me.  Doing it with ONE.
Gioia & Charles B., I've heard of soccer moms/dads but you're the quintessential baseball mom/dad.  Doing it with TWO.
Lisa O.B., Girl your life story [thus far] should be told in a book, talk about mental strength. Doing it with THREE.
Janet & Charles W. You can teach classes on [made up words alert] mommying and daddying . Doing it with ONE.
Adrian thank you for helping me organize my thoughts.  You're an awesome dad and a great friend.  Doing it with TWO.
Daoud, what can I say? You're a treasure and a gift my dear. Doing it with ONE.
Sabrina & Jack, you're in the trenches with love. Doing it with THREE.

I want all of you to know that I see you although you didn't know that I was watching.
I appreciate and just love you all.
Cheers !!!!


  1. What a wonderful post, Dale. I am sure your IRL friends will touched because, as a momma to five myself, you made me smile as my heart warmed.

    I watched "Marley and Me" recently and there is a scene where Jennifer Aniston's character says "They never tell you all the things you have to give up that make you YOU in order to do this..." and all I could do was smile and nod. Don't get me wrong, as I really do love my life and all that comes with it...but it can be very draining if I forget to stop and refill at the Living Water on a moment by moment basis. :)

    Hugs to you today,

  2. This is a lovely post, thank you Dale. You remind me that to love is to accept a person for who they are. Blessings to you and yours.

  3. I seriously don't think you can prepare for parenting, beyond the basics of setting up the nursery, etc. Best just to jump on it and do your best :-) I've been attempting that for 13 years now and knock on wood, things are going fairly smoothly!

    It seems that you are already living a fulfilled and interesting life, but I bet you would make a great mom someday if the opportunity presents itself.

  4. This is quite the inspiring post! I feel like I can tackle any parenting difficulty now! Thanks for the encouragement!

  5. Aweee, Dale!!!! I adore this post!

    And you, even more!



  6. Hey Sweetie! It's been awhile since I've dropped by (please don't hate me =D There's no real good excuse...just trying to manage. I want to thank you for this post. As usual, you warm my heart. In all honesty, sometimes I don't even know how I do it...being a mother (among everything else)? I know/want to be better. I mean, often I lay awake wondering if I'm doing all I can for them. It's hard...but, I wouldn't change a thing. You're right, I am stressed...BUT, even more so, I know I'm blessed.
    I love you, too...We all do 8D



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