Sunday Sitar - I read dead people!

 
(photos courtesy of Google)

I am a grown ass woman but I often think how wonderful it would be to have a mentor.  Not a life coach, not a therapist - although I feel those professions are great and that people who seek out theses forms of help are really smart to do so, but someone [a living breathing person] who is in my life for the long haul.  This person does not have to be local although that would be beneficial.  Nor does this person have to be a woman although that would be closer to my authentic experience.  I am talking about a person who has "tasted life," "been around the block," experienced committed love, unimaginable pain, tremendous loss, inexplicable joy, monumental success, and insurmountable resilience.

In my forty-something life, who comes close to what I seek have always been dead people - in the literal sense, not in the spiritual sense.  Although I believe their spirits do live on.  All of these people have been published in some way therefore their words comfort me.  Here is my list, sort of, but not necessarily in the order of my favorites:

1. Paul Roberson
2. Jane Austen
3. Marcus Garvey
4. Sacagawea
5. W.E.B. Dubois
6. Sally Hemmings
7. Jesus
8. Helen Keller
9. Hsi Lai Bai Hu
10. Frida Kahlo
11. Dale Carnegie
12. Paramahansa Yogananda
13. Octavia Butler

This is my short list of popularly introspective people and when I read their works or think about their lives I want to think " If they've done it, I CAN DO IT TOO."  However in a manner of moments that thought leaves my spirit as fast as it enters my brain because my pain is with me at every moment my mind is always active-seldom being comforted.  I seek someone who will stick with me, who will understand me, who will love me, and correct me.  Someone who will hold my hand through the remainder of my life.  I know that sounds like a soul mate or spouse but no.  This is not my exclusive story because I have laughed, had success and still experience joy but in my forty-something journey I've experienced my fair amount of misunderstanding, ostracism, indifference, abandonment, deception, abuse and undermining by those who claimed to care about me and the result is that I'm still here, so in the meantime in between time, I do things like exercise, meditate, compel socialization, sharpen my public speaking skills and...

..I read dead people!