To join or not to join...THAT is the question!

Hello blog world.  Yes it has been quite a long time since my last post.  That is largely because I've been uninspired to document what I've been experiencing lately.  Well the time has come for me to share - things are getting pretty interesting.

Over the past 12 months I've been tithing my time and resources to a particular organization [pretty much neglecting the other worthy organizations to which I have pledged my loyalty] and what I've learned from that experience is that it is important to set boundaries and to continue to display a level of excellent resilience.   When it is time to move on, listen to that inner voice and move on. Volunteering will always be a part of my life and I'm happy to be of service but it can wear you out in the pursuit of chasing revenue.  To join or not to join...?

I've also pursued a "green" education through a scholarship paid for by a waste management organization and have been certified in sustainable information and organization.  I pursued this complete change of career focus due to my being out of the Hollywood networking loop for several years recovering from a traumatic brain injury and although I've made life long friends in the sustainable waste management industry, it is not my passion, but I was willing to settle for that life.  All the while watching my friends take advantage of fantastic employment opportunities.  I was secretly horrified at the possibility of becoming employed in this world because it did not make me leap out of bed each day with bright possibilities to change the world.  Sustainability is their PASSION and it shows in their lifestyle choices, and conversation.  I am grateful for my "green" education and socialization [I love my friends] but after contemplation I know it is NOT my passion.  To join or not to join...?

Well bloggers getting to my point, several months ago, I was afforded an opportunity to yet again learn a completely new industry for a career change, so I studied and ultimately attained my insurance license.  The leaders in the organization that encouraged me to move forward, left me to "figure it out" and moved from LA to Chicago.  It's funny they periodically call and text me to catch up with what is happening in my life. Although it is sweet for them from time to time, that connection is essentially dead.  In all due respect, these are very nice people who decided that Los Angeles was not a place for them to raise children so they followed their heart and kept moving forward with their family plan.  Few others in this organization have made efforts to stay in touch with me and that's fine.  Fast forward to several months later when I decided to not waste my license, I pursued another path by breaking away from nontraditional organizations [NMO; Network Marketing Organizations] and aligned myself to a proper insurance organization to give it one more try.


This new organization has a fantastic product, phenomenal training and has a proven system of success to follow which is fun and interesting.  It is interesting because I've been following this system since their structured training ended in November and I've had some success which is great.  Understanding that nothing is perfect I've always been an observer, a voyeur if you will.  Not much gets by me; visually or audibly.  That being said this organization is indeed a sales organization.  My first time being involved in sales with commitment. There is a bit of that Glengarry Glen Ross, Boiler Room, Pursuit of Happiness, type of SELL, SELL, SELL rah rah that I detest.  Detest simply because underneath all of the pomp and circumstance, underneath all of the "we are a team so we are here for you," there is a bottom line energy of - Please just do your job!  We've trained you so go out and do it!  We are a team but you are an independent agent representing us.  We are here for you but you are on your own.  Really?

I've tested the "we are here for you" theory and found that I'm really alone out on a limb to figure it out -  but with support. Once anyone tells me that they want me to win or they are invested in my success, it is up to me to discover if that is TRUE.  So far in this particular organization I've found that all leaders are not created equal and everyone is not really invested in my success.  I say that because I've gone around to a few leaders to get genuine help but also to test my theory.  I must say that with this company it is true that most leaders are interested in the success of new associates/agents but there are the one or two who cannot be bothered.  At least not with me. With all that people are going through this interest must be authentic if I'm on your team or not.  I mean anyone who has met Barack Obama consistently says that they are impressed with the fact that he listens and is engaged with you while he's with you.  If the president of the free world has the time to make each person feel special, why can't insurance agents?  LOL right?

Now in any organization there is the unknown human aspect of work so it is smart to making friends if for no other reason than to make the experience bearable.  So I've been making friends but also holding people accountable to their word.  Occasionally calling people out when their word is inauthentic. Ah humans.   Bottom line I think I'm not matched properly with leadership.  It is important who mentors you. Rather who you allow yourself to be mentored by.

The other issue I have is the spirit of competition and this constant warning of "be careful with whom you fraternize" within our organization coupled with the other issues that causes me to ask myself daily: to join or not to join...?  

I am also part of a public speaking organization that I love [Toastmasters].  However I have not given the program my full attention.  And with half my heart in the club, I've been consecutively winning the best evaluator ribbon.  So it's not just me who realizes that I have a knack for observation. My club votes on me each time I'm evaluation among others. I've found my calling, now I just have to tie commerce to that talent. This year I have made the decision to be fully involved and to complete the competent communicator program and move on to the advanced communicator program.


I'm conflicted.  Insurance sales is a tough, tough gig no matter how much rah rah is sugar coated over it, coupled with the fact that I have no history in this genre of business.  I'm in unfamiliar territory and am almost ready to make a decision about weather to leave my old career behind forever.  A career that I loved, whose culture I know, and in which have invested 20 years.  It got me out of bed early, every day, with excitement and PASSION.  To pursue this new unfamiliar career with my full time, full attention, and full energy that I don't really love.

Tick, tock...