Ahem, will you all please pretend you're watching me on a dais walk awkwardly from my chair to the podium? That will help me with the visual.
[Thud, thud], Is this Mic on?
Oh, okay thanks. [ambient chatter] Would you like some water?
No, no I'm fine.
[the ambient room lights dim as a spotlight brightens and focuses on me] I look across a banquet room full of people dressed in cocktail attire. [more ambient chatter] The loud clinking sound of silverware against china dishes and 100 conversations softens to almost a whisper. There is no introduction, just the sound of me adjusting the mic [squeak,squeak] and clearing my throat. I look onto the crowd for inspiration but my mind is as blank as my stare. [then I speak...]
"Today I'm suspending but [not abandoning] Funny Fridays in order to accept my third blog award from Amy an eclectic lady whose name I just found out today (Duh!). Anyway her blog is completely fabulous. It is called I Wonder Wye. Thank you so much Lovely lady! That's what I call her. [The audience doesn't react audibly. They stare at me quizzically.] [Soto to you: I enjoy our chatting through our comments so much I always look for them whenever I post something new.] She is a classy, writer who is not only beautiful, [sorry men she's married] but also runs a wild mustang sanctuary. I know that is interesting right? Anyway she has honored me with this Over the Top award which is based in getting to know you better by taking a quiz of one word answers. So without further delay it's Q&A time.
Where is your cell phone? Couch arm rest
Your hair? Shoulder length
Your mother? Pious
Your dad? Funny
Your favorite food? Sushi
Dream last night? None
Favorite drink? Mojito
Goal? Early retirement
What room are you in? Livingroom
Where do you want to be in 6 years? House
Something you aren't? Phony
Wish List? $$$Husband
Where did you grow up? New York City
Last thing you did? Facial
What were you wearing? Towel
Your TV? Plasma
Your pets? None :-(
Your life? Transitioning
Your mood? Zen
Missing someone? Always
Something you're not wearing? Glasses
Favorite color? Purple
Last time you laughed? 8 hours
Last time you cried? Months
Best friend? Longing for one
Place you could go over and over? Florance
Person who em's regularly? Wayne
Favorite place to eat? Brothers Sushi
Well, since I obviously can't follow directions having answered some of these questions with two or more words [crowd chuckles awkwardly] I'll move it right along to pay it forward.
First I'd like to present to some and introduce to others Nikea over at The Pink Ribbon Wearer. She is over the top because she's not only side splitting funny[you'd have to spend time with her to experience that side of her], she brings a wonderful sense of humor and a raw, colorful reality to her experiences as a breast cancer survivor. It is important that when you visit her site you start in the archives reading her posts in chronological order; she preferes that and it will lessen the amount of questions you may have. She hasn't been blogging for long so she is a quick read. Just in case you SITSters were wondering Nikea has connected with Megan from Spirit Jump and I kicked Cancer's Ass. I look forward to see what philanthropic creations these two ladies may create in the future.
Second I'd like to bestow this honor to Debbie over at Girl Whimsy a blogger that truly is over the top, once you see her site you'll see what I mean. I have no idea how but Debbie discovered my blog one day and left an impactful comment, ever since then I've been following her updates. You'll never know it [since my O'keefe and Merritt stove is in storage right now] but I'm really a vintage chick at heart.
[The crowd grows bored]. Dale takes a sip of that water now [gulp, gulp,gulp. She continues...]
Third, I just discovered this blogger and find her memorial poetry so monumentally personal and lovely I wanted to put her on a large platform so others can read her work and be touched by it as well. So Claire Ann from A Mother's Tears this award is for you. An appropriate honor with a not so appropriate title. Let me encourage you all to read the stuff in her archives too. [Suddenly thunderous applause.]
To wrap it up [more applause] I'm going to give this award to two more bloggers [yes I'm breaking the rules;I think there are only supposed to be three people, but who cares?], 1) the lovely, lovely Karen over at Sole Savvy. Please take the time to peruse her site, she is a shoe designer with an impressive resume. I hope you enjoy visiting her site as much as I do. Let's encourage her to blog more frequently! I know she'd like to have more traffic to her site and 2) Bina over at Bina's Pad, another newly discovered blogger with a heart for God.
As I take my seat, the servers are ready to bring your dessert and coffee.
[someone yells an uncontrollable,"Hurray!"] Again I am humbled to receive this award enjoy the remainder of the ceremony."
So did I earn this award with my acceptance speech?