I've lived in California for over ten years now and gave up the home where my parents brought me home from Flushing General hospital to a relative who wanted to branch out on their own. It all worked out until recently, As a landlord I chose to give them that freedom, left forty years of personal items behind for them to respect, pack away and leave alone, until I figured out the next step. Well today I received a call that they could no longer live in my home for various reasons. Rather than telling me this months ago when, I would have been prepared to pack, market, and sell my memories. Now today only four hours ago I found out that 20% of my personal items were either given away to [without my consent] to Goodwill, to various members of their immediate family or tossed in the trash. Lemons...
How does one make lemonade from this situation? I'm in the moment with this debacle so ?I have no witty answers.
My higher self says to let go the things over which I have no control. What's gone is gone. But my lower self wants actual blood and tears.
Arguing over what should have been done only hurts the feelings of everyone involved. Saying things including "shoulda, woulda, coulda" creates resentment and division among relationships that were created over forty years ago. What was my hand in all of this?
Are people more important than things?
Think about it. Don't just read this without thinking of your own life. What if someone that you know deliberately tossed away, photos, negatives, and other family heirlooms to make room for their stuff because you took too long to figure it out? I'm talking about wedding, graduation, births, and anniversary photos, grandma's china, aunties furniture, prom dress, finger paintings from kindergarten that you created. Lemons...
Really what would you do? Do you plot revenge? Think diabolically of ways to bring misery into their lives? Think of was to harm them? Concoct tears to show grief and then spew out hurtful things that would bring them to the brink? We can get emotional over THINGS. Let's be honest sometimes it's justified. When do we realize that people are more important?
We tend to want to deal with experienced/mature people for everything. How do these people get that experience/maturity that we seek? Employment, personal relationships, physicians, chefs. Someone somewhere knows nothing- you teach them stuff and now they know stuff. Well after that someone has to be the first employer, first friend, first lover, the first person to try a new restaurant. Apply it to anything.
The human experience can be tough. Aging, coping, moving on. Humans are flawed. GROSSLY FLAWED. All of us. Do we just rise above the small stuff and thank God [big "G"] that we have life and the chance to start from scratch?
Today I'm posing the question. Again, I have no answers. I'm figuring this stuff out moment by moment. Although photos can be considered a deal breaker!
So what is the recipe for making lemonade?
The stroke: It could have killed me but it didn't. I obviously have my cognition, independence, and sense of humor.
Real estate: I had to sell one property to stop some financial hemorrhaging. I did that.
My prior vacancies rented. Hurray.
Dislodged and moved back to my first home purchase rather than having rent again.
[By no means is this a "look how smart I am" blog. I'm genuinely upset about today's news.]
Today's news: Stay tuned! If nothing else it'll be an interesting story.