First off this original publication was in 1940 and the international addition was published in 1972 so needless to say, I'm not the only Christian who has been struggling with this topic. That's comforting to me. I have only encountered one person who has had a similar experience. That is a friend of my father, JM in New York City, you know who you are, thank you for the lovely email several weeks back. It made me feel less crazy about this whole issue of faith. I'm not a super Christian and I can't put up a front like I am. That being said, if any reader wants to chat with me about a similar experience please feel free to leave a comment and we can begin to correspond. I'll be happy to. Just be aware that I am pretty blunt, direct and sometimes unedited in my dialog so don't let that alarm you.
Bottom line, faith is a gift from God, you can't manufacture it no matter how hard you try. One can muster up belief that one day you will be blessed with the gift of faith, but until then hold fast and live your life. That's tough to do if you are preoccupied with this issue of faith but that's where laughing, breathing and doing stuff is important. Faith is something of the heart not of the mind. I'll share with you that my mind is in the way.
All of this is not to say that if you make declarations it cannot happen for you. Just make the declarations with a quiet peace within your soul to know that IT IS DONE! Not hoping it WILL BE DONE. That [content, peaceful] inward knowing is the gift the God gives us. And there is no room for doubt. If doubt resides any place in your mind, the "miracle" of healing cannot happen. You can't be taught to know. No one can will it to you nor can anyone believe it for you. Apparently you just know through and through; just like you know your name. There is no need to struggle. It either is or it is not - simple. Don't waist time begging and pleading with God; because that is unscriptural. When the father is ready to bless you with the gift, you'll just know.
Although I don't believe it will be 20 years from now, I look forward to that day. I'm fairly certain that will be the day that I can walk plainly in my cute heals [that are currently collecting dust in my closet], run around the block, and slap someone firmly with my left hand. THAT DAY, I'll blog and post photos of my healing. Obviously I recommend both the Joyce Meyer CD and the Charles Price book. Both are easy to digest [you'll need a few hours to listen to Joyce's entire teaching and Charles' book is a quick read.] Both are very comforting. Actually I've jotted down two direct quotes from the book, that gave me some clarity.
Quote #1 regarding FAITH
"The thing above all else I want you to see is that you can not generate it; you can not work it up; you can not manufacture it. It is imparted and infused by God Himself. You can not sit in your homes and struggle to have faith, and affirm that something is; nor can you turn your hope and desire into faith by your own power. The only place you can get it is from the Lord, for the Word clearly and distinctly states that faith is one of two things. It is either a gift of God, or it is a fruit of the Spirit."
Quote #2 regarding FAITH
"Only God can make a tree. There is beauty in its twisted branches. Every leaf is a little world unto itself, with its tiny veins carrying life which God supplies, which gives it all it possesses in its native realm. Yet there is something back of the tree. Beneath the surface of the ground there is a great system of roots hidden away. You never behold them; yet without them the tree would die. It would have no life at all. The roots are ugly and hard in comparison to the beautiful greenery above the ground. Yet the greenery is there partly because of those roots, let us call the top of the tree "Love." You can see it. You can contact it. You can enjoy its fragrance. You behold its beauty. It is there because of something which is back of it - something hidden away that causes it. That something is the roots. Now you expect me to say that those roots are the roots of faith. NO! Faith is the life that flows into the roots. "
Now, there are more analogies and eloquent writings with which Mr. Price about in his book, however I won't spoil it for you. Again, it is a quick read so if you're interested be my guest and pick it up. I like things to be explained to me plainly, in an elementary way with a spattering of $10 words here and there. Well Mr. Price's book will be a part of my personal library as a classic favorite. I can just whip it out like an old pro when the conversation in my home is about this very topic - faith struggle. I'll share it with the intention that it will reach someone else like it reached me. Without the notion that it will be the panacea they were looking for. Like life there is no cure all. Just a collection of experiences. Stories help. Hopefully mine will too.
For those who struggle as I do, STOP and hold on, faith is coming!